Is it bad to be angered someone because they get to see their boyfriend 4 times a year, when you only get to see yours twice? Going onto her profile and seeing her pining statuses about having to wait 76 days before she’s reunited with him is the equivalent of self-flagellation. The feeling is a combination of “you don’t know anything”, “it is so embarrassing that you’re doing this in public” and “this is so unfair that it actually hurts”.
I want the little intimacies that come with spending long periods of time with someone. I want to tuck his hair behind his ear, I want laugh at him when something gets stuck in his beard, and I want to be the one to point out that there’s a button missing from his shirt.
Jealousy is tiring and I hate it. Being apart from someone is tiring and I hate it. Keeping positive is tiring and I hate it.